Tuesday, June 20, 2006

11 months

I'm starting to really feel like a senior in college. In all of the wrong ways. I feel myself going through the motions, carried forward by momentum that originates in the right places yet sometimes seems unrecognizable. I don't like stepping back from my life ('professional' life, mind you....personal life couldn't be better) and realizing that i'm running forward with my eyes closed. I think I'm headed in the right direction, but I'm too scared that it might be wrong to open my eyes.

I'm blessed with options--unbelievably blessed. But I'm cursed with a risk-averse mentality that I fear could very well keep me from discovering a true vocation that fuels my soul.

I read a brilliant essay by an old friend tonight that (in the best way) really turned me inside out. I look up to Andy in a lot of ways he'll never know, and I think his experience teaching in rural Mississippi makes me rightfully question where I need to be headed and how I should measure the worth of whatever I pursue. The essay was published on the NPR website, but the unedited (better) version is on his blog. Enjoy.